9 Signs you are from ESSEX

1. You spend more time combing your eyebrows than you do your hair.

(and this is just the boys)

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2. You wear heels to do the weekly food shop.

Why NOT spice up your life a bit though?

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3. You start every sentence with ‘To be honest..’ or ‘I aint being funny…’.

In case anyone doubts your integrity or mistakenly thinks you ARE in fact being funny.

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4. You call going to or working in London going to or working ‘Up town’.

For a start its a city. Mull that one over.

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5. All of your furniture is from Lakeside Ikea.

And you stopped for meatballs and dime bar cake.

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(if you do not know what Lakeside Ikea is I have a blog about it here: https://confessionsofasoberessexgirl.co.uk/2014/02/06/ikea/).

6. You class Nando’s as a proper eating out occasion.

Unless you are trying to get hench and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

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7. You find any leopard print clothing acceptable. Even if you are male.

Eye of the tiger and all that.

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8. You know someone who worked at Yardleys.

Or still works at Dagenham Ford or Gilbarco.

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9. You had your picture taken on the Basildon sign when it was first built.

Now you don’t notice the thing even if you drive past it.

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