There are many questions I ask myself on a daily basis. What am I going to have for breakfast? Are my eyebrows ok? What am I going to have for lunch? Are my eyebrows ok? What shall I have for dinner? ARE MY EYEBROWS OK?
Obviously, there are all mixed in with daily random questions I ask myself like “why is the cat in my wardrobe?” One question I’ve been throwing in for myself lately though, is “AM I ACTIALLY HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS?” At the age of 28, it’s probably a little bit early for one, as I’m not exactly ‘mid-life’ and would mean I’d die at 56, but if you knew how clumsy I was you’d know that wasn’t wholly impossible. I can’t help wonder if I should just get my act together or embrace it, but I’ve put together some handy reasons I feel I may be having one for anyone else in the same boat.
Excessive drinking/acting like a teenager
I seem to have gone backwards in life. While last year was spent drinking red wine in a sophisticated manner on Friday and Saturday nights while catching up on blogging and work, but now it would seem I am intent on spending the weekend going clubbing, losing my shoes, and casually being banned from clubs for falling into the queue barrier on the way IN. Luckily, I don’t look as old as I am, but I’ve probably only got a few years until my fellow clubbers are asking why someone’s Mum is walking about, heels in hand, demanding jaeger.
Freaking out when you feel you’ve become boring
The other day, I actually said the sentence “Wow, this is a really good HDMI cable” and immediately wanted to leave the country. You can tell you’ve got old and boring when the sturdiness of a cable brings you sheer joy and you are pleased that the chrysanthemums are blooming even though you forget to water them. You see, you can’t actually HELP growing up, so when you make bold statements about not knowing where all the knives go in this house, it’s natural to repress the adulthood and do something ridiculous, like book tickets to a grime rave.
Having no motivation to do anything remotely adult
Hoovering? Dusting? Ironing my own clothes? Weeding the garden? No I will absolutely not do that. I refuse to accept that I am old enough for such mundane tasks and I am going to instead spend the time playing with my yo-yo in my fort. Call me when you’ve made me my bowl of jelly and ice cream.
You don’t want to hang around with other adults
Leave me alone you contagious, non-fun adults in case your boringness spreads! The last thing I want to do during my mid-life crisis is hang around with people who are not only actually my age, but, shock horror, acting it as well. I don’t want to come round and watch X Factor with a glass of red wine, I want to go out clubbing and spend my months wages on tequila.